The PIG!

The blog of the Pig is late. It is such a nasty subject that Moms doesn’t want to think about it much less blog about it. Why oh why didn’t I keep my ruminations to myself? Since I let the pig outa the bag so to speak here goes…

On my mama’s brother’s farm lives a pig, along with multitudes of cute furry yet very frustrating cats (frustrating cuz they won’t play with me). This pig is uuugglyy! He looks like a worn-out scabby light pink fat barrel on 4 tiny peg legs; his hooves go every which way; his tusks are broken & he has beady eyes. Not only is this pig ugly he is a ton of mean-tempered, selfish, obnoxiousness. If the 2 -legged’s even think of anything related to food he zero’s in & won’t let them alone until he gets something or they stalk into the house.

My Mama tried to feed him his corn one day. That pig looked so funny running fast on those tiny weird-shaped hoofs that I was rolling on the grass laughing so hard I snorted. Ya, it was all a laugh a minute until the pig showed intention to eat through Mom’s leg to get to the corn. Luckily, I saved mom’s behind by distracting the arse-hole. He has a devil heart that one.

Because the pig is 3 times as big as I am if I have something he wants he can have it whenever he wants it. Originally, when I 1st met him I went over & said “Hi. You wanna play?” He ignored me. Thinking he maybe had a hearing problem I got closer & asked again. That sun-of-a-gun almost gored me with his broken ½ tusk. After that, I give the pig a wide berth & focus on the cats I’m supposed to leave alone. Or sometimes I chase bees or butterflies. The pig gets jealous as all get out when he sees my light-hearted dancing around while doing the occasional air flip. He can barely walk much less do a jig. Hey, maybe that is why he is so meant spirited.

My sweet mama has suggested a few times that my brother get his guns & do some target practicing. I don’t know how Moms is going to get close enough to that pig to put a painted red bullseye on his gut.

The good news is eventually he must die. The bad news? He is so old & rotten that he’ll be useless as a bacon producer.

Right now both Moms & I need to replace the pig uglies from our minds. I’m gonna dream about sweet furry cat butts or maybe squirrels. I change it up occasionally. Mama’s gonna dream about butts too, the non-furry kind.

Luv Otis

PS I didn’t want Mom to break her camera, so no pic’s of the pig.

2 thoughts on “The PIG!

    1. Thank U! Your comment came at the perfect time, because we aren’t traveling I was afraid the blogs were getting a bit boring.

      Like

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