Mom & ER. Again?

My Mama was taking a shortcut to our winter home on “Sweet Pea.” Mom was contentedly riding through some field like long grass when suddenly she was gone; a scream & moans were coming from inside the tall weeds.

Mom’s Sweet Pea e-bike took a huge bite outa mom’s leg before it spits her into the dirt. From what I understand, Sweet Pea’s front tire slipped into a fissure. Mom cranked on the throttle, which made Sweet Pea mad, so it bit Mom in the leg & tossed her right on her face in the weeds.

My 2-legged brother was visiting, so he came running while I skedaddled over to Mom. We both arrived & I got my butt chewed by 2-legged cuz I was trying to check my Mama out. I mean, if she’s too hurt to feed me, I got me some big problems. My 2-legged bro was sounding mean & kept telling me to “get.”

While I walked away, head down, I felt rejected, neglected & suspected. (Ok, that last part is from an Arlo song; it rhymes, so I’m leaving it in.) Why does my 2-legged brother get to help Mom? Just because he’s a big shot & can drive? Well, I don’t think it’s fair. I mean, I could lick all the blood off Mom. I know that would be a big help. I gotta get big shot outa the way. I could tackle him, but I don’t want to create more of a ruckus.

While Mom & my big shot bro were arguing about when to go to the ER, I snuck close, gave her a quick look-see, a sniff & figured she wasn’t gonna die. Mom’s leg was dripping blood, her ribs were hurting, but her arms were fine, so I’d have a full belly tonight.

Naturally, Mom won the argument. Mom got bandaged up; they kept working on the house project then went out to eat. I heard my bro told Mom, “I don’t like eating in public with someone who is leaking.” Mom tried to be inconspicuous but old eagle eye bro spied her using napkin after napkin. Wanna know what I don’t like? It’s when my family goes out for pizza & only brings back the smell, nothing to sink my teeth in. I’m going to forget this entire day quick as I can.

As soon as the delicious, extra cheesy Hawaiian pizza was gone, Mom went to the ER. That’s where the rib trouble started. When a person only eats & talks, bruised ribs only ache; laughing is a whole different story. Laughing makes a rib ache feel like daggers are being thrust about.

The ER provider was wearing a bright blue warm-up jacket over his blue scrubs. His very full beard was doing a great job of escaping the mask he wore, his dome shiny. This provider guy made Mom grin … conversation made her laugh & that was not fun! Well, it was fun, but it hurt a lot.

The Novocain also hurt a lot. Mom thought Mr. Provider Doc was a little loose with that Novocain needle. The stitch-up needle didn’t cause any problems; he did a fine job with all 9 stitches. The big flap was tied down. The leaking slowed to an ooze & they gave Mom parting gifts!

Luv, Otis

PS: Watch out for e-bikes with attitude! They help with peddling, but they don’t have power like dirt bikes; therefore, they are jealous; their perspective is skewed, so they toss their riders in the dirt.

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