Lovebirds almost killed me!

Mom’s been wanting to see a wild Louisiana alligator; yet she is afraid of spotting the long lizard cuz wherever she is, I am, and My Mama doesn’t want to write about my blood and gore. I’m in complete agreement about that.

Mom was told the Alligators have been in heaven, sunning themselves in the daily 90 degrees at Bogue Chitto State Park. Mom nor I appreciate the heat. Mom has a fan blowing on her from noon till 7:oo, only interrupted with a mid-afternoon ride to the doggie water park.

 In my mind, it’s only a Doggie Water Park, but it satisfies by definition. There is water for me, the dog, to frolic in, a park bench for Mom to sit upon while she lovingly watches me frolic, and a shady place to park our ride.

Every afternoon I happily jump into that loud green machine, aka a gator. Not to be confused with the long scaly gator creature, cuz a dog riding a breathing gator would be too weird. Instead, I mean the 4-wheeled diesel smoke’n gator machine.

Yes, you heard that right; I willingly jump into that noisy gator. This green machine is in way better shape than the one Mom used at Cypermort Point.

This one does Not lurch forward and back nor jerkily do a  side-to-side stutter step, so I don’t feel like I’m a-gonna die when we cruise down the road. I love the attention I get when Mom & I are rock’n through the state park; everyone stares.

Sometimes I sit in the gator; to give Mom a hint that we should go a cruz’n; she usually just rolls her pretty green hazels unless it’s midafternoon, then Mom gives me a ride to the Doggy Water Park.

This Doggie Water Park has many areas for me to investigate while wading or swimming in the cool refreshing water. There are no long rough alligators with big teeth lurking in these parts, so My Mama drops her vigilance.

This particular afternoon everything was going as planned. Mom and I were speeding toward our water park when we turned the corner and found two young lovebirds making out on the bench Mom usually squats on. Mom had to improvise as it was the only bench in the area, and it didn’t look like the young lovebirds would vacate their cuddle nest anytime soon.

We continued on down the road. The next outa the way spot we tried had loud ruckus music coming from the beach beyond the thick grove of trees. Mom figured there would be screaming and music coming from beyond if she let me loose. Obviously, that was not going to work, so Mom turned around. On the way back to the main road, she spied a little pond surrounded by trees.

I jumped outa the 4-wheeled gator to cool off and play in the weeds along the shore of this little pond. Everything was going great until Mom’s sharp eyes caught a glimpse of something leaving the opposite bank, making a beeline through the water toward my thickly meated haunch.

When Mom saw the alligator coming for me, she screamed, “Run for your life!” Then Mom high-tailed to the big green roaring machine, leaving me to fend for myself.

Okay, so if you believed that last sentence, you do not have the right impression of My Mama. She would never save her skin over my hairy body. Instead of screaming, Mom gently coaxed me outa the water, praying I wouldn’t see the swimmer and think playmate; then Mom led me back and into the safety of the machined gator, away from the licking chops of the swimming gator. That guy was hungry and looking for prey, seeing my massive frame as deliciousness for a week … and maybe Mom for dessert?!

Mom’s tires spat dirt and gravel as we spun outa there.

Before long, we were back at our Doggy Park. As we rode past, I gawked while Mom pretended not to notice the lovebirds still giving each other mouth to mouth.

Mom’s desire to see an Alligator without me dying in the process has been achieved. I hope tomorrow everything goes back to normal; dull is good.

Luv, Otis

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