An Unordinary Day

Mom was sleeping so peacefully this morning that I decided to see if I could hold my pee for more than 12 hours. As a matter of fact, I can! Not comfortably, and I’m sure it is not good for my health, but Mom’s beauty sleep is Very important.

Finally, Mom’s hazels popped open; she stretched, looked at me, and said, “Yay, we are up early. 7:00 is a good time to rise and shine.”

Imagine her shock when the clock face indicated with apparent disproval that it was, in fact, 11:00. Mom grabbed the clock and shook it vigorously, but the stubborn hands refused to budge. Then Mom thought the silly clock must need new batteries. Before she dug new batteries out of the way behind and under everything, she remembered Siri. Siri always knows the exact time, so Mom asked, and Siri said, “It’s 11:01 a.m.”

Mom cursed a few times; (I guess humans sleeping till almost noon is frowned upon), then finally remembered me!

Our eyes met, and after a quick minute, Mom asked, “Don’t you have to pee?”

I was off the bed, out the door, and in the bushes in record time. I stayed in the leg-raised position for so long that it felt like a charlie-horse was ready to bite.

After all that, Mom admonishes me for not waking her up so I could relieve myself before my bladder expanded like a water balloon.

I tried to explain that she looked so comfy and happy; I didn’t want to disturb her slumber. That is the kind of selfless Mutt I am. Mom’s comfort is more important than mine unless I’m hungry, restless, see something interesting, or bored. Mom was so weirded out by sleeping for 12 hours that she didn’t hear a word.

I wish I could say that Mom bustled around the rest of the day to make up for all the bed hours and for disregarding my needs, but alas, I cannot. She pretty much ignored going outside, choosing instead to engage in everything electronic. Since I am not electronic, she ignored me too.

Evening comes PDQ when a person sleeps half the day. I got excited when I heard supper pot and pans banging around in the camper.

My Mama doesn’t cook often, but there is always a yummy treat or two for me when she does. I patiently sat outside the screen door, waiting for something edible to be flung my way. Waiting. Waiting. Nothing! The pots and pans were still, the aroma enticing yet not a nibble, headed in my direction.

 I figured Mom forgot about me, again, so I did my loud vocal barking to remind her I let her sleep in this morning, that I am her favorite furry friend, I’m adorable, hungry, and damn-it, I want some.

Mom finally looks out the door. I put on my cutest face; my tail is wagging so fast my butt feels like it’s ready for take-off, and she says, “Oh, you want some?”

Maybe all that sleep damaged her brain. It’s hot food! Of course, I want some.

After more waiting, Mom finally grabs my food dish and heads toward the kibble. With disbelief and horror, I yell, “No, Mom, No!” “I want hot yummy people food, not yuck dry kibble.” She just smiles as cup after cup of dog food fills my dog dish.

I’m beside myself with disbelief and sorrow until I get a whiff of my food dish. I had to nose around for a bit before I figured out Mom played a dirty trick and buried her people food under all that kibble.

What was buried in my food? Fried rice with egg. Not even close to being worth the energy I used nor the drool I lost lusting after Mom’s supper.

The day maybe got saved as Mom just uncovered Fred the e-bike. I will dance while yipping and yapping around the bike, so Mom knows I’m excited and ready to go.

Talk to ya’ll later,

Luv Otis

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