A Huge Crash!

Mom & I were lazing around on a crisp sunny day when all of a sudden, it sounded like the world was ending. I did what I always do when I don’t know what in the heck is going on. I barked, as loud & furious as I could in our small space. I wanted all to know I was a force to be reckoned with & I wanted Mom to know I had everything under control.

After my little meltdown quieted, a grinning Mom told me a big ice chunk slid off the roof & crashed to the ground. Instead of feeling sheepish, I, with a matter-of-fact attitude, explained to Mom that exercising my bark was necessary cuz I never knew when I’d be called into action. Under her breath, I heard a “ya, right.” I simply chose to ignore her.

To be honest, I’ve been practicing my “bark” quite a bit.

Mom was nestled in bed, watching a movie while I was quietly resting next to her. Suddenly, without warning, she yells & starts clapping. I immediately jump up to save her while I reach for my deep-throated bark. My quick response startled Mom so much she followed the DVD player off the bed, onto the floor. While spilled on the floor, she dares to give me the stink-eye. Really??? I’m not the one who decided to shatter the tranquil peace of the evening rashly & abruptly. I stomped off Mom’s bed & spent the rest of the night undisturbed in my bed. When My Mom lets me outside, the very 1st thing I do is bark my face off. I mean, I’m hardly outa the door, the doors not even closed yet, when I start the “I don’t care who you are, how many legs you have or how big you are; I AM a weighted, muscled mass of strength, willing to pull, rip & spit out anyone or thing I deem a health hazard.” My Mama counts on me to keep her safe; I shall die before I let harm

come to her sweet, kind self. (I’m glad I don’t see Mom rolling her eyes behind the closed door, cuz that would make me feel sad & slightly embarrassed.)

After all my outside pouncing, prancing & loud vocals, I settle & begin to nose around for anything interesting to eat or roll in. A couple of days ago, I ate something not good for my tummy. Mom woke up to massive puke on my bed & floor. I don’t know why she was surprised at the amount; I am, after all, a large dog, with a big, as of right then, utterly empty stomach. I wish I remembered what I chowed on cuz even though I like disgusting stinky things, ralphing like that didn’t feel so good.

Mom not only doesn’t mind when I roll around in winter, she likes it. I think she looks at it like winter bath time for Otis. I love it when the snow is icy & rough; it’s excellent for scratching my old back & hindquarters. Mom & I appreciating the same thing is nice.

The other day I was resting when suddenly I heard a tremendous unseen whistling noise. Naturally, I barked my warning of impending doom to the perceived threat. Shortly everything got quiet again. Obviously, the danger was ambivalent to my power, cuz I no more than got all rested & it happened again. What’s Mom doing while all this ruckus is happening? She was calmly reading while throwing an indulgent smile my way here & there.

After the 5th or 6th time, Mom says with a sly grin, “Otis, it’s only the wind.” *^#%, she couldn’t have explained that to me 2 hours ago! Good thing I love her, or I’d give her a smart smack with my long heavy tail.

My annoyed look.

Luv, Otis

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